Friday, August 29, 2008

done~!

i'm done with my 240hrs!  woohoo!!  so now i can officially say that i've graduated culinary school hahahaha.

the past 2 months have been busy, busy, busy for me.  i barely have anytime to do anything.  often time i feel like a zombie.  able to function physically, but barely aware of what i'm actually doing; unable to retain any information in my brain.  i guess that's what being burnt out feels like ^_^'.

sadly, even after 240 hours, i still can't decide what i want to do next.  um...i lied... actually, i kinda already have decided.  it's just that i don't have the heart to execute what i feel like doing 95% of the time.  as usual, i get too attached; too emotional.  i wish i can be more like guys who can care less about how others feel. but nooo.... i have to be me... who always over-thinking things, not wanting to disappoint, burden, or trouble others.... goshhhh~~  whyyy?? nande..? 

ugh... i hate being indecisive.   


Wednesday, August 20, 2008

my body is a temple

i've been working full-time, everyday, 7 days a week... for 36 days so far.  i was beginning to amaze myself.  5 days i do a lot of physical work.  during these 5 days my brain get to take a break.  the other 2 days are spent doing no physical work whatsoever.  i sit in front of the computer for about 10 hours each day.  crunching numbers, answering questions. my body gets to rest, my brain start to get in action.  

i'm still indecisive about working at the bakery. some days are better than others.  some days i'm loving it and time flies so fast.  other days i'm hating it and feel like i'm wasting valuable time. 

today my body screams "stop doing this to me!".

i guess i should listen to it. ^_^

i'm gonna take a shower and nap!

Monday, August 11, 2008

1/2-way through

i'm half-way through my externship!  i just got my 120hr evaluation sheet signed by the chef. a few more weeks, then it's time to make a decision on whether i want to stay there or move forward.

it's another tough decision to make.  i think about this every day and i constantly go back and forth between "i should quit" and "i should stay".  well, life is about making choices and i gotta think about this one very carefully.

on one hand, i really enjoy being in a commercial kitchen.  no... not enjoy... but LOVE being in a commercial kitchen.  i also feel that i'm getting faster, better in doing my job there.  and i really like the girls i'm working with.  they are so nice and helpful to one another.  everybody, including the chef and the sous chef, works together and it makes me feel like i'm not the only one who's doing all the grunt work.  sure i have to cut lots of strawberries, but so does everybody else some times....

on the other hand.... working 7-day a week definitely has not been easy.  i can feel that it's starting to get to me.  lately it seems like i'm having trouble retaining information in my brain... he he he.... thankfully i have the best husband in the whole wide world.  he's very understanding and willing to support me in anything that i decide to do ^_^.  the hardest part about working 7-day a week for me is to not able to spend time with him.  i work during the day, and by the time i get home i'm either too tired to do anything else or i need to get ready for the next day (unfortunately for me, eventho i work at a bakery that sells panini sandwiches, they don't provide lunches to their employees... so i have to prepare my own lunch ~_~).

sometimes i also feel that i get to learn more if i do things on my own.  because i do it at my own time and with my own free will, i'm free to do whatever i feel like doing, to be creative, and to try different things.  the downside to that is that i won't ever truly be a "chef"as i never do the "climbing the ladder, starting from the bottom" part. 

eh... so many things to consider.  but that's what life is about.  and that's what makes it interesting too ^_^.   one thing i know for sure is that i will be bored and missing the kitchen if i quit! ha ha ha... 

anyway.... a week ago i did another wedding cake with my ex-classmate, Ting2.  as usual, another cake, another challenge and another experience.  it was my first time delivering a cake on a hot summer day and being stuck in traffic with no AC going into the trunk where the cake was sitting...  yeah...  when i opened the trunk, the cake had slide to one side of the box.  good thing we have a very solid construction. there's no fear of the cake collapsing ^_^.  we managed to fix it and the bride loves it.  and really... that's all that matters!