Wednesday, October 31, 2012

happiness is the way

*found a little hummingbird inside this cute little flower* 

I found a complete version of one of my favorite quotes :)

“There is no way to happiness.

Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have.
And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special.

And remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school,
Until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds,
Until you have kids, until your kids leave the house,
Until you start work, Until you retire,
Until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night,
Until Saturday morning, until you get a new car or home,
Until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer ,
Until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth,

Until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink,
Until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again,
To decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy
Happiness is a journey, not a destination

Work like you don’t need the money,
Love like you’ve never been hurt,
And dance like no one’s watching.
” Author Unknown

I like this quote even more now :).  
It's almost time to go home... bittersweet again.  

Monday, October 29, 2012

power of the mind

Do you believe in the power of your own thoughts?  I do.

Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.  
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. - Unknown

A thought is like a tiny seed that ignites everything.  Before you can grow out a limb, you must have roots, and before there is a root, there's a seed [sounds like something from the movie inception, eh?].

Twice I have vividly experienced amazing "coincidences" when things just sorta "happened" perfectly  in a magical way.  Both happened when I was pursuing something that I have always wanted, and both were the best moments of my life.

First was when I went to OZ early this year.  I had always wanted to go, and the fear to just do it was always in the way.  Until one day I finally decided to just go.

It happened again quite recently on my trip to Ubud.

*Yoga Barn's Entrance*

Since I started practicing yoga, I have always wanted to go on a yoga retreat.  It was a last minute decision, strongly questioned by everyone around me.  A girl traveling alone is always perceived as being uncommon in Indonesia, mostly for safety reasons.  But just like last time, things just... happened. Ubud Aura, the little cottage I stayed at, was the loveliest place.  Quaint and tranquil.  Yoga Bard next door is superb.  And here's the twist... unknowingly and unplanned, my aunt happened to be taking a yoga instructor certification in the same town. I found that out after I've arrived in Bali. But what are the odds that the place where she's practicing at was exactly the same one that I was going to?  She was literally practicing next door from my hotel room, and she was living within walking distance.  So of course we hung out every single night.  It was so nice to be able to catch up with her.  She even took me to a local residence and I was able to really submerge with the locals.  So it was, yet again, one of the most amazing experiences in my life.

*Yoga Barn's walkway to studios*

*view from my room at Ubud Aura*

Come to think of it... it hadn't just happened twice... it had happened over and over again, I just never really noticed it because everything happened so naturally...

Your thoughts are the architect of your destiny. -David O. McKay

We are formed and molded by our thoughts.  Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act.  Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them. -Buddha

I'm not writing this to brainwash people or to convince anybody about the power of your mind.  It's merely a reminder to myself on how wonderful things could happen when I follow my deepest desire and just let go.  Sometimes it's not so easy.  Sometimes my mind gets so cluttered with so many thoughts, so many fears, so many what ifs....   I'm afraid to deal with things that I cannot control... like other people's feelings, emotions, thoughts.  Every now and then, I need to remind myself:


Whatever happens, everything is going to be alright.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

a little bit on love...

Love is the most powerful thing.  I believe that pure, unconditional love can defeat anything:  fear, doubts, sadness,  anger... anything.

I'm so happy that I was able to attend my cousin's wedding.  It's good to be surrounded by love ;).  Here's a reading I like a lot from my cousin's wedding:

Sooner or later we begin to understand that love is more than verses on valentines, and romance in the movies.  We begin to know that love is here and now, real and true, the most important thing in our lives.

For love is the creator of our favorite memories, and the foundation of our fondest dreams.  Love is a promise that is always kept, a fortune that can never be spent, a seed that can flourish in even the most unlikely of places.  and this radiance that never fades, this mysterious and magical joy, is the greatest treasure of all -- one known only by those who love. -Dwi S.

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an end, we questioned if love is worth all the pain... but I'm realizing that for me, it is.  Because it is not love that's causing the pain, it's the ego of not being able to be with the one we love.  It's the ego that cannot accept that maybe it's just not meant to be and that you just have to let go.

By letting go it all gets done.  The world is won by those who let go.  But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning.  -Lao Tzu

The most important thing is that for every failed relationship, we take the best out of it.  There's a reason our paths crossed, and while they're crossed we've shared some great moments together.  Live is all about learning, and thru experiences is the only way that the universe can teach us.

Now I know that I should always talk it out.  I need to be more honest about my feelings to myself so I don't end up not realizing how I truly felt until it's too late.  And I just watched Glee and I'm realizing that all these dramas typically happened when people are in high school or collages!!  Well, lessons learned are still lessons learned.  Better late than never! ;-p

I miss you still tho... but I'm sure someday we'll meet again.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Nature vs Nurture and Everything in Between

Nature brought me here.  Just like a tree in a vast big forest, each one is uniquely its own.  I am. As I look inside more and more, I'm becoming more aware of a different side of me that has been idly watching.

Nurture taught me right from wrong.  The blueprint in life.  Story books, fairy tales, and cultural habits that built ideas and believes on how live is supposed to be lived.  But who decide that that's how it's supposed to be?  And why do I have to conform with whoever it is that decided that it is how it is?  Who says right from wrong?  Who dictates on how people should talk and act and interact with one another?

I have a dream.  No, I have two dreams.  I desire both, and both are equally vivid. When my desire lean stronger to one end, the other got ignored and put aside.  One seems to require me to let go of the other.  But when I'm becoming closer to one, I suddenly got reminded of the other one.

Which one is nature made and which one is nurture?  How to manifest both?

This ME that I'm becoming more aware and familiar with, is not really what society think I should be, and I have to keep reminding myself to stay true and not let my ego-driven-self took over as it always did.

Nature and nurture need to go alongside each other.  Just like Yin and Yang are always together.

I am who I am.  I'm happy with who I am.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


I spent six months in the bay area.

In six months I
... bought a car
... got a job
... left a job
... danced my ass off
... discovered that wine might be another nemesis, along with vodka
... made new friends
... got my heart broken
... found out that I, too, am capable of hurting others
... rock climbed
... hiked
... saw many beautifully blue skies, sunrises, and sunsets
... saw magnificent things created by my colleagues and participated in it
... passed out
... did lots of other crazy, stupid, awesome things I shall not disclose here [cuz that would be stupid]

I wanted to [have]
... figured my life out [like... right now. asap. enlightenment come now.]
... a relationship with someone who probably only exists in my head [my idea of a prince charming came right out of a non-existing fairytale]
... be done with my divorce [any day now... can somebody just sign the darn paperwork?]
... be emotionally, financially, physically stable [I still can't do a headstand]
... a cute little puppy [or maybe just doggy sit for a few days]

Come to think of it, six months is not a whole lot of time.

The only constant in life is change.  Right now I'm on the phase of my life where there is nothing constant.  And I was impatient.  I wanted to figure things out... now.

Your journey has molded you for your greater good. And it was exactly what it needed to be.  Don't think that you've lost time.  It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the now.  And now is the right time.  -Asha Tyson

I'm practicing patient.  I'm learning to be idle.  To be friends with silence and solitude. To see things as they are.

Breath in.... breath out...