Sunday, December 30, 2012

Reality hits: Everybody's moved on.  Everybody... except for me :).  It finally hits me in a real way.  It's like there's an untapped part of my brain, my memory, my heart, that's been rerouting all facts, and avoiding all truth, that has finally seen the light.

There's this hope that as long as I keep holding on, everything is possible, and I won't have to deal with the pain of letting go something that was never mine to hold.  I wanted to avoid the pain, so instead I dealt with the suffering.  Suffering of being in limbo.  Never truly faced my fears.

I decided to surrender.  To let go.  To let myself move on.  To free myself.

There's been lotsa "reminder" this past week.  Everything resonates that sometimes things happen in life and they're not what you really want.  But you gotta accept it.  Go with the flow.  Let go.  And everything is gonna work out.  Whether is to what you want to happen or not... everything always works out.  Live always goes on and you'll learn to be adapt to reality.  Whatever might come.

I'm the one resenting change.  I'm the one refused to let go.

I'm the one who chooses to forget everything I've learned during my travels.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Help Save SFBI

I first set foot at SFBI back in October 2009.  How my life has changed since then.  From a one week class, to six months internship, to one year of employment, and the list goes on.  

I think it is very important to surround yourself with people with passion, dream, and the drive to do what it takes and share that knowledge with you.  SFBI has been the place that first opened the door for me to explore my passion.  It is filled with people who shares the same interest and who are willing to share it with me.  It is not just a work place for me, as I have gone through so many things with it.  I went through the lowest point of my life when I was working there, and found supports from all the people who I am proud to call friends.  

I've met people from all over the world during my employment there.  Everyone who has attended SFBI would vouch that it is a great school.  Baking is not like any other type of work.  It requires practice, perseverance, passion, attention to details, and many others.... At SFBI, students are not restricted to the typical Monday thru Friday, 8 am - 12 pm.  I remember my most favorite day to work was always Saturdays.  That is not an official school day, but students would always come in on Saturdays to practice on their skills.  They choose the items they would like to work on and they do it on their free time.  And that is made possible by SFBI because they don't shut down their doors or limit access from their students on their off days.  That's one of the things I love the most about SFBI, among other things.  Even as an intern and employee, I was always encouraged to create, try new things, and explore my creativity.  Where else could a newbie get such opportunities?

The news came today thru the grapevine that SFBI is in jeopardy of being shut down due to some licensing issue on the state board. I still can't believe it.  It is supposed to happen effective immediately.  That means the door will be shut by January 1st.  It would be such a shame if SFBI have to close its door. It would be a loss to the industry and to future bakers and pastry chefs...

So help keep SFBI open.  Sign the petition.  Share the link.  Spread the word.

It'll take you 30 seconds to sign the petition and another 30 to share it.  Help keep my home away from home stay open. Help my friends keep their jobs.  And help future bakers and chefs to learn the way I have learned.  

Sunday, December 23, 2012

living live to the fullest.. not.

I really haven't been myself lately.  I'm not sure what it is... Winter?  The rain and cold weather? Graveyard shift?  Mercury retrograde? Or maybe just the realization that I've managed to run away for the past two years and now I can't run away anymore?

I think it's Mercury retrograde.

The past few weeks have just been exhausting.  I really haven't been myself.  And I miss me.

I think I know what I need to let go.  I think I know but it's so hard to do.

If I let go, would things get better?

I miss sunny skies...
I miss the simpler days...
I miss me...
I miss...

Monday, December 3, 2012


There's no escaping life.

You can leave, but you have to deal with everything eventually.  Sooner or later.  Tho it is easier to postpone and take a break from reality.

Sooner or later, you'll have to deal with the pieces of the shattered glass.

It's time to grow up. Tho the kid inside is resisting to do so.  She still wants to play in the rain.