Reality hits: Everybody's moved on. Everybody... except for me :). It finally hits me in a real way. It's like there's an untapped part of my brain, my memory, my heart, that's been rerouting all facts, and avoiding all truth, that has finally seen the light.
There's this hope that as long as I keep holding on, everything is possible, and I won't have to deal with the pain of letting go something that was never mine to hold. I wanted to avoid the pain, so instead I dealt with the suffering. Suffering of being in limbo. Never truly faced my fears.
I decided to surrender. To let go. To let myself move on. To free myself.
There's been lotsa "reminder" this past week. Everything resonates that sometimes things happen in life and they're not what you really want. But you gotta accept it. Go with the flow. Let go. And everything is gonna work out. Whether is to what you want to happen or not... everything always works out. Live always goes on and you'll learn to be adapt to reality. Whatever might come.
I'm the one resenting change. I'm the one refused to let go.
I'm the one who chooses to forget everything I've learned during my travels.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
I really haven't been myself lately. I'm not sure what it is... Winter? The rain and cold weather? Graveyard shift? Mercury retrograde? Or maybe just the realization that I've managed to run away for the past two years and now I can't run away anymore?
I think it's Mercury retrograde.
The past few weeks have just been exhausting. I really haven't been myself. And I miss me.
I think I know what I need to let go. I think I know but it's so hard to do.
If I let go, would things get better?
I miss sunny skies...
I miss the simpler days...
I miss me...
Monday, December 3, 2012
There's no escaping life.
You can leave, but you have to deal with everything eventually. Sooner or later. Tho it is easier to postpone and take a break from reality.
Sooner or later, you'll have to deal with the pieces of the shattered glass.
It's time to grow up. Tho the kid inside is resisting to do so. She still wants to play in the rain.