Thursday, January 31, 2013

mind games

Half asleep, I thought I saw my wish coming true.

My heart skipped a beat; a smile on my face; and involuntary reaction.  Seconds passed and I realized that it was just a dream between slumber and reality.

And I wake.  There was nothing.  Everything still remains.

All this from a text message.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

try



"Try"

Ever wonder about what he's doing [What are you doing?]
How it all turned to lies [Has it all always been a lie?]
Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why [Why?]

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned [I got burned]
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die [But I'm not gonna die]
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try [I'm gonna get up and try]
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Eh, eh, eh

Funny how the heart can be deceived
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy? [Why do I fall in love so easily?]
Even when it's not right [Even when I know it's just not right]

Where there is desire [there is desire]
There is gonna be a flame [there is flame]
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned [I did]
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die [I'm not gonna die]
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try [I'm gonna get up]
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try [somehow]
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Ever worry that it might be ruined [I think it is ruined]
And does it make you wanna cry? [I cried]
When you're out there doing what you're doing
Are you just getting by? [When I stopped, you're everywhere]
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by [So I kept going]

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Monday, January 14, 2013

laughing at the irony of life

hated fremont for years when i was living here with the ex.  wanting so much to live in a city.

now i live in sf, and frequently driving back to fremont because i miss the peacefulness and laid back-ness.

wanting so much to be a "pastry chef".  now that i work with a bunch of pastry chefs, i'm realizing that i'm more of a baker and i love being one.

once somebody told me that he could not live without me and that i should never leave him.  then he left me for no apparent reasons.

live keeps on changing.  you never know what's coming.  and you're changing too.

live waits for no one.  do what makes you happy.  and do it now.  cuz by tomorrow, you might not want it anymore.

Friday, January 11, 2013

to let go

I needed to see this this morning...


LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.
To let go is not to enable, but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means  the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it’s to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for, but to care about.
To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,  but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it’s to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny, but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to FEAR LESS and LOVE MORE.
Remember:  THE TIME TO LOVE IS SHORT. ~Author Unknown
Excerpt from Purpose Fairy's site

I know that I need to learn to let go, but some things are harder to let go than others.  I guess maybe letting go takes time.  

Whatever come what may.  What's meant to be will always find its way.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

2013 - year of change :)

Totally stealing that line from somebody :-p.  But yes, 2013 is gonna be the year of change ;).

Lotsa things reminded me last year that I need to really let go.  Things were a bit out of whack since I came back.  Winter just really wasn't my season, and I got into this funk filled with mood swings and discontentment.  Of course then the law of attraction comes to play.... my negative attitude attracts more bad things.