Friday, March 15, 2013

my obsession

There's a saying that the thing that brings you most joy is also the thing that can bring you most misery.

As of recent, my obsession has been... the croissant.

Today is one of those days when things were just a tad crazy.  The proof box was running amok on me.  First when I turned it on, it tripped the circuit.  So I had to call my boss at 10 at night so he can reset the breaker.  Then it started overheating.  All the other boxes were taken, so I had no choice but to stick to this one. I kept lowering the temp but it's got a mind of its own and kept going up on me.  When I had to put my babies in, it was going steady at 31C, which is not ideal... but could work.  When I checked it again, it was at 33C.  I had to lower it somehow.  Switched it down to 21C and lowered the humidity, and it still registered 33C on the panel.  I was like "dude! my butter is gonna melt!".  I had to lower the temperature.  I opened the door and left it while I worked on my kouign-amann.  Went back 30-40 minutes later, opened the proofer's door, and I swear, I was about to cry.  My croissants were all dried up, butter somewhat melted that you could see the layers,  they looked fucked up. All 11 trays of them.  All 130 something that I laminated and shaped with TLC.  Waaaaaaaaa.... 

I'm telling you.  My days in the kitchen are always filled with excitements and ups and downs.... I love what I do and it matters that I make good stuff.  Mediocrity is just unacceptable.  That's why I take things personally.  And that's why I do cry over pastries that don't come out the way I want them to.

But today, luckily, wasn't a day to cry. 

They're borderline acceptable. The shape got distorted some, but they weren't fucked up.  Considering the stress I went thru, it could be worse.  

All in a days work :).

Tomorrow will be another adventure ;).

Monday, March 4, 2013

happy is the person who does what she love

Be careful what you wished for, you might just get it :).

I remember just about a month ago, I was working 5-6 hours a day, 5 days a week, and I was thinking "I want to work more".  And now, three weeks after the patisserie opens,  I sleep for an average of 5 hours a day.  I've collected more battle scars.  My body is aching.  But none of those matters.   Because I'm doing what I love.  And I'm happy.

"choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life" - Confucius

I feel very lucky and thankful.

Now if only my personal life is as clear as my career haha :-p.