Wednesday, July 3, 2013

turn back time

If you could turn back time, would you?

I unintentionally scrolled thru some old pictures today.  It was a blast from the past.  Was pretty weird to see and I was kinda surprised to see how I felt seeing all those pictures.  There was definitely a sense of longing.  I never was unhappy with all the phases of my life.  So despite of all the difficult times, seeing all those pictures didn't make me feel sad.  Instead they made me feel...nostalgic.

Pictures of past travels with my ex reminded me of the simpler times.  I remember thinking that I must be very lucky to have him and never had to go through the heartache of breakups.  See where I'm at right now.  Totally unpredictable at that time.  Completely clueless.

Then seeing all the travels I've done solo made me think how fortunate I am to have been able to do that.  They also reminded me that there's so much I could do independently.  But then I also remember thinking that I wished I had somebody to travel with.  Traveling, or anything good for that matter, is always best shared. They also made me miss my family a lot..

And then I see pictures of my creations.  My cakes, my pastries, my sugar babies.  This one always hits me the most.  They puzzle me.  How did I come up with that?  How did I make that?  Can I still do that?  I wanna make them again.  But along with each and every one of them, there was a challenge.  There were always stress behind each and every cakes.

Interesting how life evolves and how things change, people comes and goes.  I remember reading books when I was a kid that ask you questions, and the story goes to different pages depending on the decisions you make.  The ending of the story changes based on which pages you go to.  Real life is kinda like that.  You're faced with life changing questions.  Decisions to make.  But in real life, there's really no turning back.  You can't really flip your pages back and go back and re-do everything.  And sometimes in life, it's really not up to you.  Sometimes you have no choice but to flip the page, let go, and move on.

I think in the grand scheme of thing, there's no need to go back, even if I could. Whatever decisions I've made in the past were based on certain considerations.  I tend to only remember the good things and forget all the bad.  So it's easy for me to think that it was better then than it is now.  But there were reasons why things didn't work out in the first place.

Yesterday is history.  Tomorrow is mystery.  Today is a gift,  that's why they call it "present".  

I think I first heard that quote from kung fu panda :-p.

I have to say, right now life is a bit challenging.  But I'm staying positive.  The stars will be aligned again.  I'll figure it out :).